Spoke with a friend last night who was really upset about the work situation that he finds himself in. His anger was extreme and he was yelling about his boss, that he was incompetent and how he can't get any help; all salted with certain kinds of colorful illusions that I think most in our culture are acquainted with.
There was truth in what my friend said about his job etc., but while he brought in everything that he thought was the problem; and what he told me was part of the overall situation; but what struck me is he did not bring himself into it. Now I do this myself when I am under stress so I am not judging him; since I was not angry I could stand outside so to speak and be a little more objective about what was going on. My friend is a micro manager, who has to be in on every little thing that goes on; he is afraid to leave the work place since only he knows (or he think he knows) how to really run the shop. His boss has tried to help him but it is rebuffed; has tried to get him help that he could train, but they don't last since they feel that they are treated unfairly ,so they go to work somewhere else were their abilities will be used. In other words my friend is the main incident in this situation but because he is so angry he can't see it.
I see this in my friend because it is in me also. I have been there and it is a hard task to be able to get enough courage and objectivity to deal with the problem and to lessen the load that is being carried. He may not be able to do it and in the process be let go of; sad thing about that is that my friend my never understand his part in it and just have to experience it over and over again. Being a victim is hard work, much easier to try to take responsibility and learn, less pain and also the job can become permanent instead of one of a succession of jobs lost because of personal problems that can't be dealt with on a personal level; to easy to blame everyone else.
I hope that he learns, his present boss is willing to work with him.
peace
Mitch