Life is full of little surprises for me, like when an event will happen that on the outside will seem very common and ordinary, but in my inner world cause change; that will cause me to pause and reconsider my life and how I deal or relate to it.
Such an occasion happen to be about four years ago and was brought about by Edmund one of the men that I help to take care of. Edmund is a little man who when in top health probably only weighed about 110 pounds at the most. I had the privilege of knowing him before he came to the home that I work in and I always admired him for his ability to see and also to create beauty out of the simplest objects. He was the kind of person who can get a stick, an acorn and rock and then arrange it in such a way that real beauty is created...... very zen so they say. He was always very quiet and only said what he felt was important; also his humor was of the driest variety and he would always leave them laughing as the saying goes. I speak in the past tense, not because he has died but because his dementia has taken away much of those precious gifts that he shared so generously with those around him, but he is no less loved for that.
One day he gave me a gift by something that he said to me, that like I said above may not seem like much to those who read this, but the influence of his statement is still a powerful force on how I see and live life. It was about four years ago when he still had his wits about him and I joked with him about his not being in a hurry to die since he is really a man of great faith and love of God. He looked at me, smiled that smile that can warm a cool breeze and said "life is so short that we need to hang around as much as possible"; he then told me that he loved his life and while not afraid of death was in no hurry.
For some reason that statement really hit home since it made me understand that life for all its ups and downs is really a great gift that really is very short, and by that fact it should be embraced and lived to the fullest. I am still young enough (56) that I can take my health and vigor for granted and not really appreciate how wonderful it is to exist, to stand out, to be able to perceive and learn and laugh and cry; to love others and to be loved back. True there is suffering and I and I guess we all go through, but that is part of our journey and if I can accept the good in life then why not the "bad" and painful that comes along from time to time.
My faith tells me that God is not 'out there' watching me from a distance, but truly with and in me making the journey with all its ups and downs and twists and turns and asking me to embrace life and those that come into my life; to not be afraid of love or pain when it comes; God is provident but not always protective and the ups and downs of life no matter how painful or confusing are important. So yes why should I be in a hurry to leave this life, I will leave it soon enough. These past 56 years when meditated on seem to have past like a short dream and I suppose the 25 or 35 years that I might have left will surely pass even more swiftly.
Edmund meanwhile warms the hears of those who know him or meet him for the first time by his warm smile that can warm a cool breeze.
peace
Mitch