listening continued
11.26.04 (9:27 am) [edit]listening continued
I find it difficult to sometimes to really listen to what the other side is trying to tell me, about their personal reasons for thinking or believing the way that they do. It seems that if all I am thinking about is my answer and if I am formulating my answer while my partner in debate is talking ; or if what I really want to prove is how smart I am then I am wasting my time and also the time of one I am debating with. I sort of go back and forth with this; some days I am on and others days it seems impossible for me to listen; being tired is part of this but I think 'fear' has something to do with it as well. I think one of the most common delusions is the belief that what I believe is really in some way 'the truth'. I suppose as long as I don't try to communicate with others then I won't be challenged; or if I only deal with those who already agree with me then if I am challenged it may be because of some nuance of what I am saying and not really my belief, so my ego is spared. When someone presents to me a world view that is alien to me, or perhaps I read something of that nature then; I can sometimes go thru a period of feeling unsettled and out of sorts.......I have learned that by simply staying with this feeling or perhaps it is an emotion not sure; I find that I will slowly return to peace but with something new added on. It is not always apparent actually what that add on is but later sometimes much later I will find that while my system of belief is in tact it has changed and grown and I find myself better able to deal with other points of view and find that I can learn from it. Each persons point of view is something that has been worked on; not always on a conscious level ,but by the simple of act of trying to communicate can deepen ones own understanding of what they (I) really believe and lead to appreciation of other points of view. Also doubt can be found out to be a friend since it does cause one to ask other questions or to try to communicate ones beliefs along different routs. I suppose that the way a question is stated is also important. One day a child came in to my place of work and presented me with a question about my faith that was in reality a very simple question but I found I could not answer it. It was something that I was never asked and the way the question was phrased really threw me. The parents stated that the child did that all the time with adults. Language is powerful and the way it is used can lead to friendship and deepening understanding of the thoughts of others or it can build up walls that will be almost impossible to scale. It takes a certain trust to present ones views that are dear to others and that should be respected. peace mitch