Until the end

Until the end

Until the end

Leo has the same disease as William, yet both show it in different ways;
no two people manifest the same behaviors when in Alzheimer’s dark, cold, embrace,
some become very pointed, angry, rough, loud, very feisty, in how they relate,
others like Leo sort of fade, talk in a gentle voice, have some bad days,
but even then they can be calmed down easily and do not strike out,
or if they do, it is not as forceful as others.

He sits and stared, returns a smile when given, also will attempt to answer questions,
though for the most part he will mumble.   In the mornings at times, for a very short interval,
he can speak in truncated sentences, but this soon passes.  
No one knows how much he really understands, though there is the attempt,
the strong desire, to communicate, so he does struggle;
though now that his disease has progressed, most days he does not know he mumbles,
hopefully he thinks he is really talking, and we respond the best way we can.

We put on TV for him.   Tuner classic movies (TCM), at times help keep his attention,
there are no commercials, which is a bonus, for they often cause some agitation,
for they play, and jump from scene to scene in rapid succession,
leading to some confusion, and perhaps getting very restless.

At times he gets antsy in his chair, shaking his table that fits over the arms,
so I get him up and walk him around for awhile,
when he starts to act fatigued I take him back and he sits down relaxed,
thankful for the expenditure of energy.

He eats well, but lately certain foods keep coming back up,
certain types of fish, perhaps others foods that are greasy, we are watching,
worried that one day if this happens in his sleep
he could aspirate, which could lead to death, so we deep a close eye on him.

At times, he does not understand when and why, we clean him,
but so far we can get through to him the reasons in what we are doing and he calms down,
so far,
don’t know what will happen if one day we can’t get though,

I think cleaning is probably one of the greatest crosses for the ill,
getting cleaned six to eight times a day can be wearing,
having sleep interrupted every night, very unpleasant to say the least,
yet it has to be done,
so hopefully he will always be able to be reached,
but I doubt it, for his disease is progressing, and he continues to fade,
so understanding will one day be gone, and only his instincts will be there,
which will lash out at any threat,
cleaning will be considered a threat then, so another William will be born,
however we will continue to take care of him,
until the end.