Stacked illusions

Stacked illusions

04.25.08 (8:17 am)   [edit]





Stacked illusions

We so to cling to permanence, to fool ourselves that some things actually last, when it fact all that we see only gives the illusion of such.   Cultures rise and fall, great empires once powerful are now dust, schools of thought once followed by many, now only ignored tomes, dusty, resting in esoteric libraries, read if at all, only by a few.  So it is, we all know it, though often not averted to, pondered over, or few lessons if any learned from this sober truth.   Hard to think that our own culture, or cultures, for there are many today, will also one day be just another foot note in some history book, of course, if there are history books.  No matter how many centuries old, nor how powerful, nor learned, it will one day all be gone.  Perhaps by culture revolutions, either peaceful or not, or by some fluke of nature, or just wearing out, all will one day end.  Perhaps turning into something else, or just stopping, its cities once alive becoming ruins, perhaps to be studied thousands of years in the future by some other culture that too will one day end.

Our years speed by, youth soon gone, suddenly we find ourselves at an age that we perhaps in our youthful folly, thought impossible that we would ever reach.  Yet, even if 90, perhaps the time seems but a few days, for time has a habit of folding in on itself, as if no time has really passed at all.   One memory from the distant past, and the now, nothing in between; like the speed of light can our past be experienced. If something perhaps experienced at all, time that is, it is as a blur, for most of our days are lost in oblivion, perhaps never to be retrieved again.     Our days swift, filled with pain, sorrow, and yes some joy and happiness.   We have loved ones, yet one by one they quickly move off stage, and over the years our loneliness increases, as the number of those loved, lost, expand faster as each year speeds by, and our inner hollowness seems to grow.

Perhaps this is a good thing, the rapidity of time, soon over, for perhaps we do move on to something else.  Mayhap the gloom and despair that can at times come with darker thoughts about life are also an illusion, perhaps something deeper is going on that is often lost because of the intensity of our lives as experienced on a day by day basis.  Perhaps this is the way it should be.   To live, struggle, and yet keep faith, or not, we all have many choices.  I choose faith, God, even though at times faith in God can seem absurd, yet to not to believe is even more absurd.   For to believe in creation without a creator seems the most irrational thing of all, of course that is just me.

Love is the rain that makes our desert blossom, faith is the light, even if dim that lead us down life’s often dark road, community is what often heals our deep wounds, for we are each God’s hands and arms in a world often experienced as cold and loveless. 

 But is it? 

 If that perhaps also an illusion, real enough, but again not permanent, for all passes, yet what remains? What is it that keeps us going, hoping, seeking, getting up, starting anew even after the millionth fall or set back; what is it?  Perhaps grace is so much a part of life that we often don’t see it, like beauty it can often be passed by, yet it is still there.

I don’t have many answers, yet I choose to believe in something beyond my comprehension, we call it God, a generic term, used all over the world, pointing to something deep, loving, all encompassing, beyond all forms and understandings, yet revealed as love in Christ.  So perhaps that is the key, infinite love, experienced often as not-love.

 Yes that is the real illusion.

We each struggle with the questions about life.   Not always conscious of it, yet we are creatures who have self awareness, a boon a blessing and also perhaps experienced as a curse, yet in the end our greatest gift.  To seek truth is our true dignity, to ask questions our vocation. To deepen our understanding of the world, ourselves, God, should never be feared or rejected, for to stand still, not to question, is to stagnate, to build walls of fear, to suffocate.  Each path has infinite depth, no need to jump from one belief to another, better to seek wisdom and truth in what one believes, that will keep anyone busy for lifetime, for mystery means a truth that will never be fully understood, yet understanding can grow eternally.