Once again

Once again

Once again

I would suppose I am my own worst enemy,
no others needed
I can do it all by myself.

The love of self at times difficult,
more like almost impossible;
my feet are truly made of clay.

How dare I believe I am loved,
yet I am,
how can this be for such as I?

My lofty ideals drown in inner chaos,
at times my emotions consume me,
raw and loud,
not really understanding anything at all.

An inner darkness seems to attack,
yet my inner hell my own
a place self created
believing the wrong voices listened to
blocking out your own gentle whisperings.

How I cling to my inner alienation
nurturing my fragmentation,
allowing the pieces to fall into the void.

Until

Once again
you gather me in your embrace
always incredulous
yet I once again surrender.

Will the cycle never end?

Do I want it to?