Unstable

Unstable

Unstable

He can change on a dime, you never know when it will happen,
one moment he will be joking with you, laughing, smiling,
then without warning he will lash out, hitting, trying to bite,
screaming and to top it off could throw his plate full of food.

We have some medicines to give him when he gets like this,
once in awhile we gets hints, so we can give it early
bypassing any kind of out burst, that could be dangerous,
sometimes people get hurt in doing their care giving jobs,
so far we have been very lucky.

He is of course not responsible for his actions,
his ups and downs are perhaps getting worse now,
his disease is progressing, and each victim is affected different,
some fade, others actually become happy, and yes,
there are those who can really rage, there is a little in each,
yet one tends to predominate.

I would suppose fear could have much to do with it,
perhaps to suddenly not know where one is,
not recognizing those who are laughing and talking around you,
perhaps not understanding what they are doing
I would imagine engender fear leading to anger,
a form of misguided self protection.

So we watch for signs, and hope for the best,
for we know he is not in control
and at times he remembers and feels shame,
so we have to let him understand that we know,
truthfully, that it is not something he can help,
or control on his own.

So forgiveness is not necessary,
yet at times we have to grace him with it
in order for him to calm down and feel all right.