Mustard is messy

Mustard is messy

Mustard

I went into town today, had to see the eye doctor, also go by the Pharmacy to pick up some medications that were ordered. On the way there I spotted a restaurant called the “chow dawg”, a place that I have passed often but never went in. Since I am a lover of hot dawgs, and of all things not good for me, I decided to go in and totally do what my doctor as advised me not to do, pig out. I ordered two hot dawgs, with mustard on the bottom of the bun, topped with lots of onions; you can never have too many onions. So I sat down and began to enjoy my feast. Halfway through my meal, I glanced down and saw that I had mustard on a large portion of my large beard; I hate that when it happens. So I tried to clean off my beard without bringing any attention to myself. So I got a napkin and tried to neatly clean off the mustard, which I of course did not accomplish. It spread, the whole bottom of my beard was very sickly yellow, and here I was still in a public area, what is a man to do. The waitress was very nice and pretended not to notice, but I did see her mouth tremble in her efforts not to belly laugh. So I rubbed some more, and got it down to a sickly grey yellow color, got up and asked where the bath room is, which of course they did not have one. I wanted to say something like “isn’t it some kind of law that restaurants have to have a bathroom?”, but I kept my cool, and walked out with all the dignity I could muster, me and my sickly yellow colored beard.

I went to a gas station and went directly to the bathroom. It was one of those bathrooms that seemed to have not been cleaned in at least a month, but I was not picky at this time. I looked into the mirror and had to laugh at myself over how I looked. Some people might think it an improvement. Those people who keep trying to influence me in keeping my beard neat and short would shake their head knowingly; thank God they were not there to give me anymore sage advice, I was not really in the mood. What is the use of that, trimming, hair was meant to be grown, so I do what God intended, let it grow. So I try to clean my beard with a wet towel, which believe it or not made it worse, I had no idea that mustard was so messy, at least in hair. So I bent down over the sink and used some liquid soap to attempt to clean my beard to it normal beautiful grey with a touch of red in it. I can’t believe how long it took me to clean it, how that much mustard could be in my hair is beyond me. As I was bent over and put in some more soap, it for some reason got very foamy, so again I spent five minutes rinsing it out. All that time the door would not lock and the sink was next to the door, so I guess my life was in danger if someone came in and hit me hard, it would be over, with the embarrassment of looking like I died of rabies. In the end it all turned out ok, but I don’t think the hot dawgs were worth it, and I need to rethink the whole mustard thingy, or shave my beard. Don’t get your hopes up; I think the mustard will have to go.