More on William

More on William

Well we followed the Doctors instructions about William’s medicines, we cut back and for a while just gave him Ativan when needed. We also sent him to the VA for a check up and the doctor concurred with Dr Manning about the meds. So now we have him on very little medication, and he seems to be doing better. His appetite is starting to return, he is drinking more and now it is a waiting game. Our main concern is that he may again get too hard to handle, since he can become very belligerent and at time violent when he becomes confused. When talking to Dr Wu, the VA doctor, he explained to me that William’s bout with dehydration a few weeks ago was serious and it may have long lasting physical repercussions for him. He will get better hopefully, but it will be less than before. Which of course is normal when old and already feeble, the bounce once there is gone. I hope this is true since it will be easier on William and also on us. I would hate to have to go back to more meds to make him manageable and then have him stop eating again.

Yesterday as I was taking him down the hall he starting yelling “MA”, something new, I have never heard that from him before. It went right through me, since it seemed to indicate his sliding further back in his life to childhood. The way he called for his mother reminded me of a 7 year old in distress, so it saddened me a bit. However it did not last long and he was soon once again at peace.

One of the channels on TV that keeps him interested is Animal planet. He seems to love some of the programs that deal with the lives of wild animals. I sat with him last night and watched a program about Wildebeest, and he really got into it. The lions really got him going. At one point he said “I would not want to be in a cage with that one”; we both laughed about that. The programs are good, but as I get older the fate of the hunted seems to have a sobering affect on me, I almost don’t want to watch. Strange, for when younger I loved it, now it bothers me. Don’t know why, it is nature after all and if not for the food chain none of the animals would survive. In one scene it showed crocodiles drowning one of the Wildebeest, the commentator said it took an hour for it to succumb; when I heard that I cringed, something I would not do when younger and perhaps more virile. Perhaps we men get more sensitive as we age, though I have a long way to go.

William still spends most of the day and night in his geriatric chair, for when we put him in bed, no matter how tired he is, after a short time he tries to crawl out. He is afraid to be by himself, since he forgets where he is at, which I am sure is very frightening for him. I can remember waking up as a child, the room dark, not knowing where I was at and becoming so afraid that I was fearful of even breathing. So it is good to protect him from that feeling as much as possible.

Don’t know where this is going, he may live another couple of years and beyond, or finally succumb in a few weeks, all we can do is journey with him, and try to make him as comfortable as possible and also happy, at least as much as within our power, which is not much. I really hate dementia and Alzheimer’s, if and when a cure is found a great deal of suffering will be lifted from the lives of many. People with these diseases die twice, first the mind and personality, then finally the body, a rough row to hoe for all involved.