Rewards

Rewards

William’s primary doctor voiced his concern about his rapid decline. He thought it might be due to the amount of medication that he is taking, that they are the cause of him to not wanting to eat, or to drink, or when he does in very small quantities. So we got a blood sample and took in to the doctor’s office to see what is going on. Rose the RN that I work with and I had a discussion about this. William's appetite has been in decline for over a year, with of course the weight loss that always accompanies it. It got to the point that the only things he craved were hamburgers, plain, with only onions, coke and of course the ever popular chocolate. My thought (which is not worth much, not being a doctor) is that it is the progression of his disease and that it is not as sudden as his doctor might think. In any case, we want what is best for him and are doing everything we can for him.

So for now, he is off of his medicine, except for some Ativian, that we only give when he becomes very restless. At this point we usually give him no more than two a day, which helps to keep him peaceful. He will not sleep in a bed. As soon as we put him in, no matter how sleepy he is, he tries to climb out. He once told me that he is afraid to be by himself, he forgets where he is at. I think that might be part of the reason for his trying to get out. So for the most part we keep him in a geriatric chair, and he seems to be doing fine with it. My concern is that we may have to repeat this all over again if he again gets strong enough that we will again have to medicate. Medication is a two edge sword, and there is always a price to be paid in taking them. However the benefits are also good, and make it easier for both caregiver and for the one being taken care of. Without them it could be a hell for both parties. William often does not understand what we are doing for him, and he can fight back, making it impossible to give him the care that he needs. Yes a two edge sword, it cuts both ways. All in all however they do make his life easier, so if we have to go back on them, if he gets stronger (which I doubt), we will do what we need to do.

At this point he has two family members visiting him. He remembers them most of the time and while they are here he seems to be eating and drinking a little more than has been his practice to do, but not much more. The family members are his niece and nephew. He has two other nephews’ but they could not make it. They are all that is left of his family, all his brothers are dead, though at times he forgets and asks for them.

Last night after they left and I was spending some time with him, he asked me to say the rosary with him. So we said the rosary slowly, which he likes to do, for he has always been a very prayerful man, spending hours in silent contemplation everyday for most of his life. After we said the rosary, he turned to me and said in a whisper “I love you” ,which almost brought me to tears, something I often don’t experience. Being a caregiver has its rewards, and they often come unexpected. I love surprises.

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