Aldo 3

Aldo 3

Well, Aldo is finally established in his new home. The social worker at Crawford Long Hospital was able to get him situated in the area where most of his friends and extended family live. It is a nice place, as far as that goes, but after all, a nursing home at its best is not what you would call a happy place. Most residents would rather not be there, those of course who can still care about such things.

On my first visit I found him in his new room, he has a room mate, who was not there when I arrived. I showed him some comfortable clothing that I picked up for him on the way in. Some sweat paints, and a couple of light color tee shirts that he likes. I told him that I would get him some more later, when he gets into a certain routine. The staff recommended that; to wait before we load up his closet.

He is of course still depressed, which is to be accepted, he has a lot to adapt to. Also he was having some trouble with his legs. His left leg he could move a little, his right not at all, which worried me, since on my last visit he could move his legs alright. He still has pain; sometimes it is in his legs, at others in his arm; his right arm, the one most affected by his stroke.

His complaint to me was that they would not give him his pain pills when needed, so I told him that Pattie and I would check with the doctor about that. I also went looking for the Nurse to ask her about this problem. She told me that his pain medicine is on a PRN basis and he needs to ask for it, something I am not sure Aldo really understands. So I went back to his room and let him know about the PRN status. I also talked to the nurse about putting him down to get pain pills at certain times during the day, every four or six hours. She told me that she would talk to the doctor about that. Later Pattie also talked to the nurse. She was told that when asked about pain, Aldo always told them that he was ok....so you see what we are dealing with. There is some dementia there, not always obvious, but there none the less. We are also trying to get something for depression, which may help a bit.

At this time he says that he does not want a TV, nor does he want anything to read, so he just lays there, which concerns me. Hopefully in a few weeks, I will be able to put him in the wheel chair van that I drive, and take him over to Pattie's and Michael's for a visit. Of all his friends, I think he is closest to them. Michael loves Aldo very much, and has spent a lot of time taking care of his car needs etc. So he and Pattie are very close to him. A visit to their house would do wonders for him.

I am at my worst visiting. I feel so helpless, there seems nothing to be done at this time to alleviate his interior suffering, and such is his journey at this time. Yet time moves on, and I feel that he will adapt to his new home. Even though it is doubtful that he will be able to go back to his small apartment, we did pay for one more month, so that he will have something to hope for; to go back home. That was Pattie's idea, she is better at that kind of thing than I am, more sensitive. I am not sure I would have thought of that on my own. He has lived there for 20 years, so it is really home for him. He is known by many there, and the owners are sad that he might not be able to come back. He is a very gentle, quiet man.

Changes can come so quickly. Hopefully his friends will be able to make a difference for him. Ann, Judy, Elizabeth, Michael, Pattie, and others, will continue to try to support him, which perhaps is his final mile on his pilgrimage, though it could be a very long mile. We are all in Aldo's life for a reason. Extended families are important, the ties are deep and enduring, and we will journey with Aldo until the time comes when he is called home.

I know he is tired; his life has been very difficult. My hope is that after he settles in, he will find some peace there. The staff is kind and really wants to help him, and I think when that sinks in, it will be a big help to him to let down his guard, and let go of the fear that he is feeling now. He has no control over his life, everything has been taken away, so yes he has a great deal to adapt too, to let go of, and hopefully again to find some peace.