Leo's journey

Leo's journey

Leo's journey

It started out as a quiet day here; I was in the back office working on the computer, when suddenly I heard my named called “Mark come here!” So I rushed out to see what was going on. In my line of work it could be anything. When I got to the main sitting area I saw that Leo, one of my charges seemed to be having a seizure; his body was very stiff, his head turned to his left, looking up with a fixed hard stare, that was not focused. Now Leo has advance Alzheimer’s, a disease that he contracted quite young, in his early 50’s, and now at 67 he is far advanced. Because of this we would not call 911, since his mind is already so far gone. So I stayed with him, saying soothing words, holding his hand until it stopped. He then became clammy and cold. He was in one of those geriatric chairs, so I put him in a reclining position, covered him up, and rolled the chair down to his room, so he could have some quiet. After a seizure, there is usually fatigue, so rest is needed. I left him in his chair for about an hour, and then we got him into bed. He slept for the better part of the day, but in mid afternoon he started throwing up.

Leo is losing his ability to swallow. At this point he swallows when he is eating ok, but outside of meal time he seems to have lost this ability. He just allows the saliva to build, and then simply spits. So when vomiting, it can be tricky to get him to get it all out. I set him up in the bed, placed a towel around his neck and tried to get him to simply let it out. Finally the pressure got great enough were it simply came out on its own. I was afraid that he may in the end think it food and swallow it, which could lead to aspiration, pneumonia, and lead to death.

After calling the RN, she decided that it might be best to take him into the Emergency Room for testing. He has a benign growth in his brain, and it could be growing, impinging on areas that are the cause of his distress. We needed to know, so we could treat him properly. Our main concern in patients like Leo is comfort, it is all we can really do. Taking someone to the ER in Leo’s condition can be traumatic, but there are times when it is needed. They do all the test needed, and you get the results while there. It does of course take hours, but I am used to that. I always take reading material with me, so the time goes by at a good pace. It is noisy of course, so Leo was a bit agitated, but he did not become a real problem.

A funny thing happened while there. I had to change him, and all they have there are those horrible, cheap, square, shaped briefs. I have never been good at putting them on; I always do something ‘stupid’ and just can’t seem to get it. Well I think I finally got it on right, and then I could not find the small plastic strap to close one side, so I ask for help. The tech did not come, but our RN Rose arrived to help, laughed when I told her my problem. She said she hated them also, but they are cheap, so the Emergency Room uses them. With her help, we finally got him clean and dry, with the briefs on. I think next time I go into the ER, I will take a couple of pair of the briefs we use here.

In the end they found nothing. Which was good news, but frustrating, because it is not much help in how to give him the best care possible. We got home, and he fell again into a very deep sleep, which later seemed to moving towards a possible coma. It is always a difficult call, well usually impossible to know which direction a situation like this will go in. So I called his sister and let her know the situation. Stating that he ‘seems’ to be getting worse, and there might be the possibility of his dying. I also let her know that it might not be anything like that at all, he could wake up and live for quite a while yet. We talked for a bit longer, and she thanked me. I got all of her other phone numbers and promised to keep her informed. Leo sister’s health is not the best either, she is in her 70’s and just had a knee replacement, and their were complications, so she cannot travel.

So I sat a bit with Leo last night. We had him anointed, he being catholic, part of the perpetration for death, though it is now called the sacrament of healing and not the last rites, like it was just a few years ago. I like to read the psalms when sitting with the sick and dying, they truly become real when you are dealing with the death of a human being, one that I have worked with for a few years. I believe the psalms are truly the prayer of mankind before God, with all of the emotions we are often enveloped in. There is joy, sorrow, rage, yes the desire for revenge, acts of faith and moments of despair, all in the prayer book called the psalms. I also feel that I am with all who are dying, or who have died, this I believe is the power of prayer. We truly connect to God’s moment, the eternal one when praying. We truly represent one another when praying; we are after all joined to Christ who truly identifies with each one of us.

Well I guess it was about 8PM on the first day after his seizure that Leo woke up, restless, so we got him up. After a few hours he fell back to sleep and now he is in bed. He flickers in and out, so no one knows which way it will go, in either case he is in God’s hands, and really is not that enough?

The thread for each will one day be cut
Life’s a journey soon over,
No matter what year the call comes
The years never seem to be enough,
Yet go we must through the dark door
Our journey continuing,
The mystery deep and dark,
Yet light is there,
Often not perceived,
We are just blinded by the infinite,
Since finite we are.
In the end we truly are like flowers in the field
A truth sometimes hard to accept
For time cannot be slowed down,
But seems to hasten faster as the years fly by.

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