Dreams
03.01.07 (8:06 am) [edit]
Dreams
I had a dream about my dad last night. I am not sure how many I have had of him, perhaps only a few over the years. It was different from any other dream I have ever had of him and I don’t know what to make of it. I was with him in a large room, and I think it was some sort of family reunion, in any case, I felt that I was not with strangers and that both my dad and I fit in, belonged to the group that was with us. It was some sort of banquet. Someone got up to speak, and I also stood up, not too speak, I just stood up; am not sure if anyone else did. I think it was a show of respect, but no real emotion involved with it. As I sat down, my dad looked at me, and cried a little and said;
“You were like that before”. It was like he was speaking directly to me. Even though I have no idea what he meant by the above statement, I was touched by the dream in way I don’t understand.
I don’t write down my dreams, but over the years dreams have played an important role in my life, it just something that is. Every once in awhile a dream will come along, and BAM my life is changed, usually for the better, giving me an insight that I needed at the time, brought about by the way I either thought, or felt, about a particular matter. I usually have this experience when on the conscious level a change is not thought about, I am just going about life. It seems that the mind has many levels that are constantly at work, processing data. Perhaps dreams are the only way for these deeper levels to communicate.
Before I was ten nightmares were my most common dream. They always started off like some bad “B” movie. There was music, green clammy fog, and I would suddenly find myself in the depths of some forest, fearful, knowing someone, or something, was after me. I would also know I was dreaming and could feel my eyelids trying to open so I would wake up. I guess they were lucid dreams, but it was not until I was a teenager that that I learned that I could control them. Well the dream was archetypical for a child. I would try to run but my legs would feel very heavy, and in some dreams ‘old people’ would be coming for me, slowly coming to get me and I was by myself with no one to help me. When I finally got to my home, no one there would help; they would just laugh at me. I would usually wake up then, I was never caught. I suppose having dreams like that every night led me to be aware of my dreams for the rest of my life. When the family left for Panama in 1958, when I was just turned 10, the nightmares simply stopped, and to this day I have very few nightmares. Hopefully that trend will last for the rest of my life. I think the dreams stopped because I felt safer in Panama than I did in the states. I think I know what the reason is, but will not get into it here. Lets just say that I was glad that the dreams stopped.
There is a beautiful anima figure that will at times come to me in my dreams. I have seen her only a few times over the years, once in awhile she will speak to me, and soon after that some sort of breakthrough will happen for me. The message is often simple and too the point, something unusual in dreams. I also have another aspect of the anima figure who also comes at times. She is older, dark hair, and when she appears the dreams can be unpleasant or even painful, she also appears seldom. I suppose in Jungian terms they are simple aspects of my personality that come forth when I am being slower than usual in getting some point or another. You would think they would make an appearance more often, I can be little slow on the draw at times.
The colors in some dreams are very deep, deeper than in my waking hours. Very rich and colorful blues, reds, gold’s, and greens; very beautiful, sure to help me remember when I wake up in the morning. People ascribe all kinds of significance to colors, but I am not sure they mean anything at all, just something beautiful to remember. At times I also visit surreal landscapes, most of them pleasant but on occasion others not so much so.
There are many theories about dreams, but in the end each person who dreams a lot will have to come up with their own theories about them. For myself I find Jungian thought helpful at times. Not all people dream as much as I do, and again there are many who do in fact dream more, and who also write them down. I don’t think it is all that important to remember ones dreams, but it certainly makes the night more interesting. Some nights, all I am missing is some popcorn.