The outsider
01.15.07 (1:53 pm) [edit] He sat before me looking down at his plate, I am so tired of being on the outside, he said, There has never been a place where I have fit in, No matter what I do, Or how hard I try, I end up in the same place, By myself, Alone, An outsider. As I listened, Deep feelings of helplessness swam to the surface, Nothing I could say would help, So I just sat and took what he presented, Prayed, Letting go of my need to try to somehow fix him. He has shared his past with me,Amazing me, his strength and courage to go on,His story would have shattered me,Broken my soul into pieces,Yet,He continues,Not knowing his greatness that he simply continues onward,Though things look bleak, hopeless, no end in sight. Our past dogs us, Bites at our heels, Runs us down until we simply drop, Swallowed up by the pain and wounds of the past,That flow like lava from the gaping inner wounds Hidden from the sight of others. Sucking out our life’s energy, Enclosing, Prison like our life creating. How are cycles broken? Insight when it comes often brings greater pain, Yet life is better with it since it points to a doorway,A new beginning, The seed planted perhaps bearing fruit slowly, Perhaps hidden, Until one day something changes, Hope arising from the dark depths, Pointing, The road that needs to be traveled. So painfully,Yet with a sense of relief,I to have learned a gut wrenching lesson,I cannot take on the pain of others,Nor can I save them. My faith has grown, Trust in God deepened, In the darkness hour faith still stands firm Of God’s inner light and love that enfolds us all. |