Passage
12.27.06 (8:09 am) [edit]
There are many rites of passage that most people go through as they journey down the road of life. Some of these passages are pleasant, others not so much….. then of course there are those that can terrify. I remember my first day of school like it was yesterday, 53 years ago. To say I was scared is an understatement, but I went, mostly because I had no choice, parents have a way of convincing children that they need to move forward.Also beneath the fear there was also an excitement and the knowledge that I really had to leave the home nest and venture into the world. For me that first day was a big change, and I doubt that I am alone experiencing it that way.
There are many others of course, little milestones in life that let one know that time is moving on faster than desired. I can remember lying in bed just before graduation, in 1967, thinking about what I was going to do. I knew that I would go into the military, I was not college material, and being in equal parts excited and terrified. One part could not wait to get out into the world, the other wanting to crawl back into some kind of warm, safe, predictable womb, but that was impossible, so I joined the Navy.
The list is long, I have had many rites of passage, some big others small, but each very important since they demand some kind of response from me. Sort of a fork in the road, evoking an inner response that will decide how I will relate to the world…. being open, or closed, to the experience being presented to me, at times in ways that I would rather not
have.
The aging process has its own doorways that must be passed. Aging is not about becoming old in the archetypal understanding of many. Old age is not about the inner spark aging, it is about accepting the aging body with grace, embracing all the experiences that come with it. I remember the first time I was offered a senior citizen discount. They start at 55 in restaurants, and at first I was taken back, since I was only 53, but it was like a blip on the screen. I guess I knew it was coming and when it did no problem. Besides I have a very long grey/white beard, balding, a little oversight so I guess it adds a few years, and in no way am I going to get rid of the beard. Over the years people have told me that I hide behind it, at first I was defensive about it, but now, well so what?
One of best my friends is going through such a rites of passage at this time. He has been told he has a potentially serious health problem that is making him nervous. Sort of making him aware of his mortality in a way not done before, and it is causing him some concern, however he will get through it of that I have no doubt. Soon it will be my turn, if not this year, perhaps in the next 10, which will fly by as years seem to do. Hopefully I will be able to get through the next rite of passage with grace, and if not that will be ok, that is also part of the journey. My inner world is messy, and sometimes my responses to life are not the best or most mature, but the journey continues does it not?