Slowing down

Slowing down

Tom was having some difficulty last night at about 6 PM.  I got called, and went to his room.  He was having some trouble breathing, or let’s say, he was breathing too fast.  He was having an anxiety attack, which was kept looping back and making him go deeper into his anxiety, which of course is understandable. Since he was just in the hospital with congestive heart failure….. which was accompanied with great difficulty with his ability to breath, that would have no doubt killed him if not for the ER.   A very serious condition to have; though it can be controlled now days with proper meds, that help in keeping his water retention down.

I talked him through some breathing exercises, slowing him down, soon he was feeling better, but I could tell he was still anxious.  His oxygen level was ok, but I decided to put him on a concentrator anyway, since it would give him the impression that he was getting enough oxygen.  I put it on 3 liters for an hour or so, then came back and put it down to 2.  The night PCT told me that he was having a great deal of trouble with apnea, and that he was moaning in his sleep.  She was worried.  I told her that this was not something new; it was due to all the weight he has been gaining, which has made his apnea much worse than it was in the past.  He does not want to use one of the machines that are made for this problem, though we do bring it up from time to time.

He is both anxious and at peace.  Not afraid of dying, but scared about dying of suffocation, which is of course understandable.  In the end he will most likely die of his congestive heart failure, but in most cases the loss of oxygen and the build up of carbon dioxide is gradual, and death is for the most part peaceful.    Hopefully if he loses weight he will be around for a little while longer, he has a good spirit, and still has a great love of life, with lots of friends who look in on him.

(Written three days after the above)

He likes to go over to the guest kitchen and help out with the vegetables, but that will also have to wait at least a couple of weeks.  When off the concentrator his oxygen level drops to about 86, and that is without any activity, so him doing even slight work, plus talking would cause trouble for him.  We are going to get him some small oxygen tanks to on the back of his chair; so that when he is stronger he will be kept comfortable when he is out and about.  He is going along with us, though I can tell he is not overly happy about it.  His family from Arizona is coming for a visit, though they were only here about two months ago, they will cheer him up.  He is very close to his brothers and he has a very nice sister-in-law whom he loves very much.

He seems more at peace about his condition, which is a relief for me.  As a caregiver what bothers me most is when peace is lost and can’t be regained.