A visit with Leo

Saw Leo yesterday at the nursing home.  He seemed to be a little agitated, and he tried to explain what he was going thru during my visit.  Leo kept telling me of an incident that was witnessed that happened between his parents, which obviously caused him a lot of anxiety when it occurred.  It sounded like he was reliving some childhood memory, thinking it happened that day.  It is very frustrating for him to talk, he can’t get the words out that he wants to say, and so I just sat and listened.  The best way to let Leo know that he is being listened too is to learn to ask the right questions.  One of the best to try is to describe the emotional state he seems to be presenting.  So questions like “so you feel angry” about what happened, or other questions along those lines seem to make him feel that he is being heard.  Sometimes I just give a one word response, but focusing on the emotional content helps me to stay present to him, since his sentences often do not make any sense at all.

I think he also misses Damian’s presence, but does not have the language to express it. Perhaps it is just an absence that he seems to be experiencing, without being able to put a face on it.  They used to spend a lot of time together; their rooms were next to each other, and like to be in each others company.  Damian used to like to make Leo laugh, he was a jokester, and Leo seemed happier when he was around him, listening intently, if not participating in the verbal goings on that Damian was so good at.

Over all he seems content where he is at, and one day I asked him if he would like to return home.  The answer surprised me since it was so clear.  He said that another move would be too much, he likes it there, and does not want to go somewhere else.  It seems he remembers the disorientation that he went thru when he was admitted a year and a half ago.