The question

When people dialogue about God, the question often comes up if God is personal or impersonal; something that is not a real issue with me, but I am intrigued by it in any case, since it always seems to be in the fore front of many conversations about the Other.

I have never in spite of my reading up on it; have been able to understand what “impersonal” means when it is applied to God.  Does it mean “less than”…&helli p;what?.....less than me?......a blind  unthinking force?  Perhaps it means a God who makes the universe and then steps back, and lets it run itself, sort of like a watch maker.  A God that is only transcendent, out there, separate.   Many seem to prefer that, perhaps they find the idea of God being personal un-nerving, or perhaps just impossible to believe in.  Yet we have creation, which for many points to a creator. A necessary existent, where contingent existence has its beginning; since what is created has no power of and in itself to cause its own creation out of nothingness; to believe that at least in my opinion takes a greater leap of faith than believing in a creator.

Perhaps ‘personal’, the use of the word to describe God is really a problem.  If by personal we look upon God as being another ‘Person’, just bigger; then we run into some real trouble.  I am not sure I would be too happy with the idea that God was like me, just a larger version.  Since personhood means boundaries and limitation; then on some level, perhaps unconscious, God would be just another human being, sort of like the gods of ancient times. 

A ‘person’, cannot be infinite, without boundaries.  Personhood points to a certain identity, a center of thought, a need to interrupt whatever information comes in, and because of that it implies some serious limitations; communication being the biggest one, at least it is in my experience.  So to think of God as a very large person can lead to some serious issue with the whole God question.  

Jesus revealed to us that God is love, infinite love, an ocean of love (another metaphor that limps, but good none the less), something without limitations.   Since human love is limited, it is hard to understand what ‘forgiveness’ and ‘justice’ mean.  When we think of justice we have a certain set of assumptions that we go by.  You get what you put out, and eye for an eye, pain and woe, with a touch of revenge……oh my.    However Jesus forgave his tormentors, embraced those who betrayed him, rejected no one.  So justice for Jesus is different from what is commonly thought by our species.  Perhaps God’s vengeance is love and life.  I got this from a homily given by Fr. Matt this morning at mass. 

Perhaps the wrath of God is in reality God’s love pursuing us to the ends of the earth, wanting to communicate fully the infinite love being offered.  Now a ‘person’, someone who has severe limitations because of the inbuilt subjectivity that comes with it, may have trouble understanding such generosity, unless of course it is applied to him or herself.  Mercy seems to be desire by all; it is in the giving that the trouble starts for many.

Paradox is the only way to get a finite grasp, to get some understanding of God, no matter how small that understanding may be.  Once we get too comfortable with what was once paradoxical, it is time for God to again to flip the tables with a deeper understanding of the paradox inherent in the whole God question.  Love cannot be boxed in, it is bigger, deeper, and wholly other, something we can get a glimpse of from time to time, but with us, it again is boxed in, with need, projection, unstated desires and demands.  God’s love has none of that; it is something that is free, constant, freely given, since all is understood.  To understand all is to forgive all.  God is the subject, hence there is no subjectivity, there is only oneness, and complete union with what is…….and that includes us, all we have to do is to grow in love, understanding and the ability to allow God’s love in.

We can only overcome the past by facing our fears about God and simply diving in.  Don’t believe what your emotions and feelings about God tell you, they are from the past, another box to climb out of.  I suppose that we will be climbing out of boxes for a very long time…….perhaps for eternity……& hellip;not bad really…….the mystery deepens.  That is why eternity will not be restful or boring, but an eternal series of joyful revelations about infinite beauty and love that beckons us all onward and upward.  Higher and deeper without end as C.S. Lewis states in the last book of the Narnia Chronicles