Edmund
03.10.06 (10:03 am) [edit] I have been one of the caregivers Edmund for about 7 years now, and while it seems like a long time it does not feel that way. Edmund is a small man, quiet for the most part, a man with a ready smile, and laugh, who is for the most part even tempered, and easy to take care of……for the most part that is. He is one of those people who just don’t ‘fit’ into any ‘thing’. For instance it has always been impossible to get him to adapt to any kind of schedule. Since the onset of Alzheimer’s his concept of time has been seriously altered. Everybody else has pretty much a time that they go to bed and get up. Edmund is different; he will go to bed, lie down and then get up ten minutes later, and come down to the main lobby and sit and listen to music, no matter what time it is. Sometimes he will get up and down all night, sometimes going to the bathroom, at others again to the lobby. Then I guess when his sleep depth builds up, he will sleep thru the whole night without interruption; at least that is what he did until very recently. In the beginning before his Alzheimer’s became last stage, where he is at now, it was not too much of a problem, but later on he had to be watched. He liked to go into other people’s rooms; sometimes because he was lost, at others he just wanted to look around I guess, and once in awhile he would pick something up and take it to his room. We soon came to understand that if something was misplaced it was most likely in his living area. This was innocent of course; he would often forget that he had the object as soon as he stored it. We also had to be careful during meals with meds, he would want to take everybody’s medicines, so during meals the medicines could not be placed near the plate of those at table, but given to each one, and make sure they were all taken lest Edmund would swoop down on them. We watched him close enough were this never happened, could have been serious if it did. About two months ago we thought we were losing him. One morning he became very weak, and his blood pressure became dangerously low; also during that period he had apnea. He would breathe for about 10 seconds, and then stop for as long as a minute. Because of his age, and his living will, all we did was to make him comfortable and see how it went. He is DNR and sending someone his age, and condition, to the ER is torture. ER’s are good, but for the aged they can be very rough places to have to go to. The ‘beds’ are very uncomfortable, and often the wait is very long. I have had to wait as long as eight hours in ER’s, can’t be helped, there is so much going on. So we are careful about who we send in. For Edmund it would have been useless, and quite possibly would put him thru a great deal of suffering. I sat with him, kept him company and prayed. He did come out of it after an hour or so, but he was different. He was weaker, he could not get from his wheel chair to his bed, or to his toilet like he did before, he also seemed further along in his slide into dementia. However he still would get up and down a lot and this became a problem since he could easily fall and break his hip. He does not like to be confined in anyway, and since he is used to moving about freely he does not always understand why new constraints have been put on him. Luckily for the most part we can talk to him, and at least for a time he understands why we are doing what we are doing. He is also starting to have skin breakdown from sitting in the wheelchair. He tends to sleep more now, so that has led us to put him in a geriatric chair during the day. That way we can have him sit up for awhile and then put the back down, and get him in a reclining position, thus taking pressure off his tail bone. He does not like this since he can’t move around, but he is slowly getting used to it. Music seems to always help Alzheimer’s patients; I know it helps Edmund a lot. One thing that also helps him is to use prayer forms that he has been using for years. Some days when he is restless, I will take him to his room or to the small chapel that we have, and say the Rosary or the Chaplet of Divine Mercy with him. This immediately gets his attention, and he becomes quiet and reflective, off and on, while these devotions are being said. He will pray with me for a time, then fall asleep, wake up and join me again. He knows he is praying, and I think he sleeps a bit because the tension and anxiety is gone for a time while he prays. Reading scripture also helps, since he has been an avid reader all his life, again the familiarity from years of use centers him for a bit. He still has a ready smile and laugh, and still has the fight in him. Over all he is still at peace, and complies as much as is possible for him. I have no idea what it is like not to remember, not even to how where one is at, and perhaps from time to time not knowing those who have been taking care of him. Our voices help; he seems to calm down a bit when someone who has been taking care of him for along time says something to him. I suppose having short term memory loss is a kind of blessing for him. If something upsets him, in ten minutes or sooner, he forgets about it, and is back to his old smiling self. I think when he listens to music; he loves jazz; he is reliving memories from his 20’s. He sometimes laughs and at others he cries, not in any sense of being sad, but from simple happiness and joy. He loves Billy Holiday, and “Summertime” is his favorite song, something that he likes to listen to more than the others, and never tires of it. He can get quite loud sometimes when singing along, and I at times sing along with him, at least the parts I know, and then I sort of hum along. People often talk about the quality of life for those with Alzheimer’s. and are too quick to say that it is low. Not always true, they have moments that are happy, sad, and tension filled just like the rest of us. Just because they are at a stage that most can’t understand, does not mean that there is no life worth living going on. Sometimes when I talk to Edmund he becomes very animated and open, sharing things from his past that give him pleasure and joy in sharing. It is the moment that is important and dementia patients can have many pleasant ones during the day. They also bring joy to those who take care of them. Music from their past, and if religious, prayer forms that they are familiar with, also connect them to the present and ground them at least for a time. They also have an inner life, and I see no reason to think that they are not still growing spiritually. Edmund is one of my charges for whom I will mourn when he passes, and that is fine, keeps the heart alive to love those I take care of. Perhaps that is why I am in this business, keeps me involved with others, and will not allow me to get so self absorbed, a real danger for me I think. While old age is difficult, taking care of the elderly is a privilege, which allows both parties to grow in love, compassion and also in understanding of each other. I just hope that when my turn comes I will also be gracious to those who take care of me. |