Not ready to go

Not ready to go

Was just getting ready to go for my doctor’s visit yesterday, when I got a call from the head nurse that Edmund might be dying, so I cancelled my appointment and went in to see how he was coming along.  When I arrived, his blood pressure was very low, 55/46 so it was no wonder he was unresponsive.  He was also showing signs of apnea, breathing for about 15 seconds and then stopping for almost a minute.  Edmund has been with us for about 7 years, and his decline has been slow but sure during that interval, though his spirits have always remained high most of the time.  We called a priest for him, and he was anointed, and after that, about all that could be done is to wait and see.  From past experience we have learned not to be too hasty to announce that someone is definitely dying, since rallies are very common.  So I stayed for awhile and prayed with him, holding his hand, just waiting.  Slowly his apnea got better, he started to breathe for 30 seconds and stop for the same amount of time, and then suddenly he was ok, got up and went to the bathroom.  He is still a little groggy, and this could be a sign that the end is near, only time will tell.

We know not to do anything for him that would extend his life, since he is DNR, but I am glad that he is back for awhile.  I have leaned a great deal from him, he has a way of coming out with some pretty wise sayings, some of which have really changed my life.  I remember one day about three years ago, I was joking with him and saying that he does not seem to be in any hurry to go to heaven.  He looked at me and said “ we are here for such a short time that we should hang on as long as possible ”.  I suppose it was the timing, but I was floored by what he said, and it has made me reevaluate many things, not only about my life, but my attitude towards it.  Here was a man not afraid of death, but also someone who was in love with life, and who understood how fleeting our lives are no matter how long we live.

Working with the elderly has it perks, and the wisdom that many of them have is one of them.  Also age is really only skin deep, we are all young inside, I reckon about 18 years or so.  Not in an immature way, but in the soul is young sort of way.  I suppose we are just starting out here, this world is a womb that we have to be born out of into a larger world, one that can accommodate the soul that has outgrown its need to be here.