There are times

There are times

There are times when the Lord draws near,

Lifting me up,

Encouraging me to again run the race

That has run down or stopped.

Life is like that,

We can wear out a times

With the struggle,

That perhaps is unnecessary.

It is true I think

That I am my heaviest cross

Burdened by my subjectivity

Imprisoned by my own past.

Lost in a hall mirrors,

Overwhelmed by the reflection

Shown me

In the faces of others.

Until I understand

That what I think of others,

Or judge them harshly,

Is merely a reflection of my unknown self.

A reflection I don’t want to see,

In my vanity inflated,

For it is easier

To cast blame than to accept myself.

Though I am slowly learning,

That I am accepted in God’s love,

So the hiding is unnecessary

To protect my fragile self image.

A price heavy to pay,

Days spent in anger

Defending my own image,

From the encroachment of truth.

That mercilessly pounds on the walls

Leaving me no rest

Till I surrender to the truth

That others have to give me.

At times it seems

The Lord has pity on me,

And visits in a way felt

If not always understood.

Then for awhile I am refreshed

Hopefully learning from my past

Being more open to the Spirit

That groans within me.

I supposed this will continue

Until the day

When called home

And all will be made known

Then freedom unknown

But desired by me

And perhaps all men and women

Almost too good to be true, will be experienced.