Dare I hope?

Dare I hope?

As I get older

And my strength slowly fades

My heart it seems is becoming more alive,

Sensitive, open, to the experience that presents itself,

That allows emotions to surface,

That in younger years I did not know really existed.

Anger, rage, resentment yes,

Wanting to fight of course,

Normal for me,

Comfortable with it,

Thought not always happy…..

I have known struggle

Intimate knowledge of my primitive self,

The caveman, with club in hand

Wanting the freedom to just act,

Not daring,

Knowing the wrongness of the action,

If not the raw  emotion.

Now…..

Music, movies, the sight of a child,

Stirs my heart,

And I fear that it will burst,

So unused it is in this regard…..

Astounded at the force of it,

The power…..

Afraid of not knowing how to let it be.

Not like anger at all,

But the source is the same,

The energy deep in my soul….

Oh when will I be free to truly let it arise (?)

An alien landscape for me

Slowly coming to form

Still seeing thru a haze

Of the promise of a better,

Freer life, were my feelings and emotions,

Will flow freely like a river,

Without obstruction

Or turbulence that is my lot,

Is it possible?

Do I dare hope?

Yes!

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