He is letting go
09.25.05 (10:59 pm) [edit]I spent a few hours sitting with Lawrence today, and it is pretty obvious now that he is dying; in fact he wants to be allowed to die in peace. We did give him the last of the antibiotics that was prescribed by the doctor, to treat the wound in his leg, that has three different kinds of serious staff infection. We did this, hoping that this medication would make Lawrence feel better, and lead to him wanting to get better. Being 98, and almost bed ridden before he even got seriously sick, and worn out to boot, I can understand his desire to simply move on, no fuss, just “let me go”, is his request.
All we are doing now is to try to keep him as comfortable as possible. Turn him, hydrate his skin with lotion, apply a cool compress to his forehead from time to time; he seems to like that, and to simply speak to him and let him know what needs to be done. When you turn someone in his kind of state, it is important that you talk your way thru it, since to suddenly be turned, can cause a great deal of anxiety, and a fear of falling. It is hard even with the talk thru, but you can not imagine the fear that can arise when turned without any warning. Being helpless, and really at the mercy of others, can do that to you.
His respirations are about 30 per minute, high, more like gasping than actual breathing; the breaths are very shallow, in and out very quickly. It is the body’s way of trying to stay alive just a little longer, it does have an intelligence of its own, and survival is its vocation. However he is not uncomfortable, the rapid shallow breaths are keeping his oxygen level high. We just keep his head elevated, and he is mostly resting at this point, and not responding when talked to. This however does not mean that he does not hear us.
I just left him, his breathing pattern suddenly changed, and some apnea entered the picture. Will he die tonight(?); well I have learned never to second guess something like that..... I have seen some amazing rallies, temporary improvements, that don’t last very long, but neverless always surprise me, who knows it may happen this time, but if it does I will really, really, be amazed.
Peace
mitch
All we are doing now is to try to keep him as comfortable as possible. Turn him, hydrate his skin with lotion, apply a cool compress to his forehead from time to time; he seems to like that, and to simply speak to him and let him know what needs to be done. When you turn someone in his kind of state, it is important that you talk your way thru it, since to suddenly be turned, can cause a great deal of anxiety, and a fear of falling. It is hard even with the talk thru, but you can not imagine the fear that can arise when turned without any warning. Being helpless, and really at the mercy of others, can do that to you.
His respirations are about 30 per minute, high, more like gasping than actual breathing; the breaths are very shallow, in and out very quickly. It is the body’s way of trying to stay alive just a little longer, it does have an intelligence of its own, and survival is its vocation. However he is not uncomfortable, the rapid shallow breaths are keeping his oxygen level high. We just keep his head elevated, and he is mostly resting at this point, and not responding when talked to. This however does not mean that he does not hear us.
I just left him, his breathing pattern suddenly changed, and some apnea entered the picture. Will he die tonight(?); well I have learned never to second guess something like that..... I have seen some amazing rallies, temporary improvements, that don’t last very long, but neverless always surprise me, who knows it may happen this time, but if it does I will really, really, be amazed.
Peace
mitch