I often wonder

I often wonder

09.21.05 (5:50 pm)   [edit]
I often wonder, when sitting with someone dying, what it is they are going thru. The dying process seems arduous even if there is no pain to deal with. Perhaps it is the silence, the hanging over the void, and the seemingly endless waiting, that gets to me.

I have never been with a young person who was dying; only the old, and they seem in the end to die peacefully, simply letting go, and moving on to whatever awaits them. I guess it must be different with the young, and the middle aged. I suppose it might be more difficult for those in mid-life, since we are the ones who mostly carry positions of responsibility; we are needed, so it might be more difficult to let all of that go and move on.

I remember Joe, when he was just about ready to let go, and we notified his family to come so that they could be with him. There he was taking short incomplete breaths (gasping), his eyes glazed over, almost there, when his family came in, weeping, kissing him; telling him how much they loved him, and would miss him. Well he came back, and twenty minutes later, he was sitting up in bed, laughing, and joking, with his family. Later when we were alone, I asked him if he made some sort of decision to return; he looked at me, smiled a little sadly, and said, yes, but he will be going back soon. It seemed to me that it was a sacrifice for him to return; one he made out of love and concern for his family. Funny thing, the family decided not to be there when he was again dying, since they were worried that the same thing might happen. They knew that he was ready to go. True or not, it showed love and concern on both sides.

He died peacefully a week later. The same thing, his eyes glazed over, short incomplete breaths (gasping), when suddenly, his eyes cleared, he looked at me, smiled, and then went back in, and died 30 minutes later. Like all the others, he also had an arduous waiting period before he finally made his exit, or entrance, to whatever awaited him.

Peace
mitch