Joy is there
05.31.06 (5:17 pm) [edit] Joy is there The light ever present enveloping Upholding the one loved. Often hidden but at work none the less even if in secret. Slowly bringing to light the fruit long in coming Overcoming the darkness of fear Depression Failure That often haunts those who seek the good The conflict often wounding Forcing the broken to choose to move forward To trust That Joy will win out in the end No matter how bleak it seems. Life is not dark Though at times it seems so Suffering and evil seemingly strong Covering the world in its viselike grip, Will one day end. The light is slow in its work, Patient, Allowing life to takes it course Until one by one we are called home Into the light Where the mystery answered in part continues to unfold, To dive deeper into this love is our eternal joy, Our calling To always plunge deeper into the center we have never left. |
Each day
05.30.06 (4:09 pm) [edit]Each day so much like one before it
Just little differences
That make some stand out,
Remembered,
Even pondered,
While the rest sink into forgetfulness,
Oblivion,
Never again to see the light.
Memories hide,
Forgotten,
Buried in the cave beneath thought,
With roots deep,
Alive,
Influencing in secret
That makes us a mystery to ourselves
In how we sometimes are.
Am I my past or am I my thoughts at this moment?
What will I be in the future?
Perhaps I am none of these.
Something simpler,
Deeper than thought,
Or past and future,
Greater than the present
Deeper than time?
Am I truly who I am only in the present?
This moment,
This thought or experience?
Is the present all I have to stand on?
God’s present is all time
Mine this instant the doorway
Where I truly connect
With the All.
With its depth
05.29.06 (4:59 pm) [edit]
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The pain of the world, Its sorrow, Weighs heavily in all our hearts, Some more in touch than others With its depth. Many hide from its sting Becoming tough, Cynical, Angry, Aloof, Anything to keep empathy, Compassion, At bay, That if allowed to grow Will make the heart bleed, Weep, Moan for all their brothers and sisters, Suffering with no one to help, Or to be with. Does God weep? Being present to all, No way to deflect The agony Of all the children created. Since love embraces pain. The price paid high beyond all measure. To walk with, Be one, With those who struggle Thru life’s long road, Leading eventually to healing, That only God’s love, Severe, Seemingly unkind, Can accomplish. It is love that gives life, Any other road taken Deadens the heart, Reducing others to objects To be used, Then discarded, Disposable, Easily replaced, The only price asked Is the death of the soul, Empty, Artic, In its loneliness. Free from the burden of caring Or feeling for others Who are icons of Christ in the world. |
Like an infant
05.28.06 (11:13 am) [edit] He is like an infant now In his geriatric chair Table up so he cannot fall, If he tries to stand up on his own. He does not know he cannot walk He stills smiles when his name is called Laughs at jokes Loves music Is present to those around How much no one knows He leans to his right Almost over the arm rest Nothing can be done to make him straight When ask if he has pain He responds he is comfortable Eats only soft foods Stating to have trouble taking meds He swallows on good days With hot oatmeal which he loves, Soon he will not be able to do even that. I caress his face We talk in our own way His eyes still shine with humor And responds When I say I love him and kiss him on his forehead. He fights when we clean him Does not know what we are doing Takes two to do this tango But it gets done All happy when it is over. He just sits Quiet unless addressed Sometimes restless Most of the time not Unless he is in bed He will be missed His presence here long Seven years Swiftly pasted With a shorter future every day We each for a short time Shine our light on those around us Some lights are brighter than others Some more loving Edmund is one of those. |
Talk on Resentment, Anger, and Forgiveness
05.27.06 (11:14 am) [edit] Early years (2 years Old) put in foster home Became hyper self aware (still am) No one to depend on Just myself Hyper alert in a dark lonely place This is abandonment Something every child has to face at one time or another Mine came sooner rather than later. Had to be done Rent problems Parents came every weekend I withheld my affection knowing they were leaving again. Became self contained Impersonal towards others Unable to break this As the years stacked up. Even knowing my parents did not mean to abandon Still as a 2 year old that was what it was A lot of rage from that time Not rational, Powerful, That inner fire Can erupt at any time. This is my path Simply dealing with this issue Not letting it consume me nor my life. I am not a victim That would be too easy Leading downward. In thinking of nature I am fire As a force A volcano Slumbering for the most part With magna deep down Hot Wanting to express itself Find relief From the inner pressure. My path not allowing this to control my life Not making others victims of my anger Seeking to not scapegoat anyone Or if I do To apologies Own up to it Then move on. Saw a psychologist at 40 He asked me Mark what can I do for you? Doc I replied I am dying I can feel it My anger My constant companion is destroying my body I have trouble breathing (Still do all these years later). Am always angry Though so far I have been able not to take it out on anyone. I suppress it Try to deal with it in a way that is not destructive to other But perhaps I need help It seems to be hurting me I feel it now that I am older. I am wearing out. Loseing the battle No matter how hard I try. It was a struggle I disassociated at lot Frustrating for both me and the Psychologist In the end he did help me to voice things that I already knew Just needed to word it in front of somebody Who could reflect it back for me. This helped Thought my anger is a constant companion. At times I feel like St Francis and Ghangis Kan Are sitting across from each otherUnable to communicate. At times it shows itself as raw power Erupting from my deepest most hidden part of who I am Or think I am. It is painful Tears my soul Worse than physical pain At times I wonder if I will ever be free of it. Perhaps being fire means just that Dealing with this inner power in a way that is life serving. It is simply my path That I must see to the end. Each person walks this road If not with rage and anger Then it is something else. An inner wound Perhaps hiddenSeeking to be noticed Dealt with Healed. To not deal with it Face it No matter what the road walked Is to invite chaos into life A slow death over many years. To run from the problem Is to only make it worse. Letting go Forgiving Is the only way to break free To allow the heart To be a channel of God’s healing love Not only for myself But also for others. Resentment and hatred Are intimate, Just as profound as love, In the attachment It has for the one hated or resented. Not to forgive is to carry a heavy burden To give power Mostly unasked for To the ones Focused upon |
Talk on anger
05.26.06 (10:53 am) [edit]
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EMDR
05.25.06 (7:13 pm) [edit] Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)1 integrates elements of many effective psychotherapies in structured protocols that are designed to maximize treatment effects. These include psychodynamic, cognitive behavioral, interpersonal, experiential, and body-centered therapies2. EMDR is an information processing therapy and uses an eight phase approach. During EMDR1 the client attends to past and present experiences in brief sequential doses while simultaneously focusing on an external stimulus. Then the client is instructed to let new material become the focus of the next set of dual attention. This sequence of dual attention and personal association is repeated many times in the session. Eight Phases of Treatment The first phase is a history taking session during which the therapist assesses the client's readiness for EMDR and develops a treatment plan. Client and therapist identify possible targets for EMDR processing. These include recent distressing events, current situations that elicit emotional disturbance, related historical incidents, and the development of specific skills and behaviors that will be needed by the client in future situations. During the second phase of treatment, the therapist ensures that the client has adequate methods of handling emotional distress and good coping skills, and that the client is in a relatively stable state. If further stabilization is required, or if additional skills are needed, therapy focuses on providing these. The client is then able to use stress reducing techniques whenever necessary, during or between sessions. However, one goal is not to need these techniques once therapy is complete. In phase three through six, a target is identified and processed using EMDR procedures. These involve the client identifying the most vivid visual image related to the memory (if available), a negative belief about self, related emotions and body sensations. The client also identifies a preferred positive belief. The validity of the positive belief is rated, as is the intensity of the negative emotions. After this, the client is instructed to focus on the image, negative thought, and body sensations while simultaneously moving his/her eyes back and forth following the therapist's fingers as they move across his/her field of vision for 20-30 seconds or more, depending upon the need of the client. Athough eye movements are the most commonly used external stimulus, therapists often use auditory tones, tapping, or other types of tactile stimulation. The kind of dual attention and the length of each set is customized to the need of the client. The client is instructed to just notice whatever happens. After this, the clinician instructs the client to let his/her mind go blank and to notice whatever thought, feeling, image, memory, or sensation comes to mind. Depending upon the client's report the clinician will facilitate the next focus of attention. In most cases a client-directed association process is encouraged. This is repeated numerous times throughout the session. If the client becomes distressed or has difficulty with the process, the therapist follows established procedures to help the client resume processing. When the client reports no distress related to the targeted memory, the clinician asks him/her to think of the preferred positive belief that was identified at the beginning of the session, or a better one if it has emerged, and to focus on the incident, while simultaneously engaging in the eye movements. After several sets, clients generally report increased confidence in this positive belief. The therapist checks with the client regarding body sensations. If there are negative sensations, these are processed as above. If there are positive sensations, they are further enhanced. In phase seven, closure, the therapist asks the client to keep a journal during the week to document any related material that may arise and reminds the client of the self-calming activities that were mastered in phase two. The next session begins with phase eight, re-evaluation of the previous work, and of progress since the previous session. EMDR treatment ensures processing of all related historical events, current incidents that elicit distress, and future scenarios that will require different responses. The overall goal is produce the most comprehensive and profound treatment effects in the shortest period of time, while simultaneously maintaining a stable client within a balanced system. After EMDR processing, clients generally report that the emotional distress related to the memory has been eliminated, or greatly decreased, and that they have gained important cognitive insights. Importantly, these emotional and cognitive changes usually result in spontaneous behavioral and personal change, which are further enhanced with standard EMDR procedures. |
Copyright 2004, EMDR Institute, Inc. |
History of EMDR
In 1987, Francine Shapiro was walking in the park when she realized that eye movements appeared to decrease the negative emotion associated with her own distressing memories1,2. She assumed that eye movements had a desensitizing effect, and when she experimented with this she found that others also had the same response to eye movements. It became apparent however that eye movements by themselves did not create comprehensive therapeutic effects and so Shapiro added other treatment elements, including a cognitive component, and developed a standard procedure that she called Eye Movement Desensitization (EMD)1. Shapiro developed an information processing theory1,2,3 to explain and predict the treatment effects seen with EMDR. This theoretical model also describes the development of personality, psychological problems and mental disorders. The following is a simplified description of Shapiro's theory.
1Shapiro, F. (1989). Efficacy of the eye movement desensitization procedure in the treatment of traumatic memories. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 2, 199-223. |
Yearning
05.24.06 (4:54 pm) [edit] There is a yearning in the human heart Often going without a name, Experienced as a wound by some, By others a simple longing. An inner thirst, Unquenchable, Showing no mercy to the Soul, Allowing no permanent rest Since it cannot be owned But only sought. This yearning points beyond what we have, It almost seems that we are also pursued. That being also yearned for Is what draws us forward. Seeking union with that which has no name, Nor form, Yet present in the inner emptiness Speaking of home A place we know is there Even though never seen. |
Hatred
05.23.06 (2:00 pm) [edit]
Hatred goes down like a fine wine Smooth to the taste It seems so right So just, It fits like a well worn shoe Giving a strange kind of comfort To hate that which is other, No responsibility need be taken Since it is deserved. Revenge it’s first born Gives a rush of pleasure The striking out Repaying back double For the wrong done. Bathing in the others pain Saying it is justice, Deserved, Right. Yes something so easy, So natural, Can lead to such pain, Doubled, The cycle speeds up with each turning, The emotions growing sharper, Pointed, Spreading out to all the others Who also deserve to be punished This dance violent, Now this one leading, then the other, The whirlwind of pain increasing; The wheel, Will one day stop, Peace achieved, When at last There is no one left to dance. |
An evolutionary philosopher's case against religion overpromises, underdelivers
05.23.06 (12:57 pm) [edit]
Trapped with Dr. X
An evolutionary philosopher's case against religion overpromises, underdelivers.
| posted 05/23/2006 09:30 a.m.
There's a species of villain, familiar to moviegoers and readers of fiction, distinguished by a blend of high intelligence, suave charm, and pathological narcissism. Above all, such characters love the sound of their own voices, and stories in which they play a leading role often climax with a scene in which Dr. X (let's call him) is gloating over his triumph—and then, at last, gets his comeuppance.
Reading Daniel Dennett's new book is like being trapped in an elevator with Dr. X for more than 400 pages. If John Shelby Spong is the aging poster child for liberal Christianity and Phillip Johnson is the pit bull of Intelligent Design, Dennett is the professional bad boy of evolutionary philosophy. In contrast to many of his peers, he is willing and able to write lucidly for a general audience as well as for the scholarly guild, and he relishes his role as an urbane provocateur. ("Belief can be explained in much the way that cancer can," he told interviewer Deborah Solomon recently in The New York Times Magazine.) He is perhaps best known as the author of Consciousness Explained (1991) and Darwin's Dangerous Idea (1995); for a bracing response, see philosopher Alvin Plantinga's May/June 1996 review in Books & Culture entitled "Dennett's Dangerous Idea". You may also recall the brief hubbub that attended Dennett's July 2003 op-ed in The New York Times, "The Bright Stuff," in which he endorsed "the efforts of some agnostics, atheists, and other adherents of naturalism to coin a new name for us nonbelievers," as he recalls in Breaking the Spell. The term was bright (as in "Richard Dawkins and Daniel Dennett are prominent brights"). As far as I can tell, it hasn't really caught on. But give it time.
Taboo? What Taboo?
So what "spell" does Dennett have in mind in his new book? He tells us: "The spell that I say must be broken is the taboo against a forthright, scientific, no-holds-barred investigation of religion as one natural phenomenon among many." Now many readers—believers and nonbelievers alike—will scratch their heads and wonder: Taboo? What taboo? I entered college in 1966. Among the classes I took my first year were courses in sociology, anthropology, and psychology. In all of those instances, religion was treated as a natural phenomenon, and passing references to religion in other classes took the same tack.
But of course, this approach to religion predated the 1960s. It flourished during the Enlightenment and really came into its own in the 19th century in a range of disciplines, including anthropology. It's true that this view of religion "as one natural phenomenon among many" has never been uncontested, and in certain contexts—by candidates for President of the United States, for example—can't even be expressed without causing an uproar. But the notion that there is in place a "taboo" such as Dennett speaks of is simply preposterous.
Now Daniel Dennett is a learned man, and one who doesn't readily suffer correction. Why would he say such a thing, so easily refuted? Well, he hedges.
Acknowledging this very question, he compares the "centuries of insightful and respectful scholarship about the history and variety of religious phenomena" that have come before us to "the bounty gathered by dedicated bird-watchers and other nature lovers before Darwin's time"—the work of amateurs, in other words, quite useful in its way, but not up to snuff, nothing like the really modern stuff we can do today.
Yet when he cites Richard Dawkins and Pascal Boyer and other contemporaries who exemplify the sort of work that needs to be done to "break the spell," we find that many of their arguments are not obviously distinguishable from the work of those amiable duffers of earlier times. When Dennett tells us, "One of the surprising discoveries of modern psychology is how easy it is to be ignorant of your own ignorance," we may be surprised only by the notion that this comes as news. Certainly Sophocles was well acquainted with this finding of "modern psychology." And when we think of this in relation to religious belief in particular, we may recall the German philosopher Ludwig Feuerbach's enormously influential book The Essence of Christianity (1841), in which, having argued that God is merely a projection of human fears and desires, Feuerbach observes: "This does not mean that religious people are themselves immediately aware of the fact that their consciousness of God is simply their own self-consciousness. In fact, the absence of such an awareness is the distinctive mark of religion."
Dennett has other hedges, which we do not have space to consider here. Suffice it to say that they are equally unpersuasive. Breaking the Spell takes its place in a long tradition of naturalistic critiques of religion. I don't think it is likely to significantly change the terms of an argument that is sure to persist long after our fleeting present moment. In the meantime, in due course, Dennett and I and you, too, will find out who was right.
John Wilson is editor of Books & Culture.
Copyright © 2006 ChristianityLeo
05.22.06 (2:49 pm) [edit]
Out to Lunch
05.21.06 (9:14 am) [edit] About a year and a half ago, when Leo, and Damian, first went into Morningside, I would take them out to lunch once a week. They both enjoyed it; the time spent with them was very pleasant and happy. They liked to go and get hamburgers, or perhaps a hotdog, and afterwards go over to Dairy Queen for some ice cream. They loved the ice cream Sundays with lots of syrup on it. This went one for a few weeks, but I had to stop since the director of Morningside told me that Damian would come back agitated, and would want to go out again. Since they both spent a lot of time together; their rooms were next to each other, the trips had to stop; couldn’t just go in and take Leo, and leave Damian behind. So when the time came for a visit, I just stayed there, and talked and joked with them. Damian loved to joke, and Leo is a very good listener, so they made a good pair. Now that Damian is gone, it seemed a good idea to start taking Leo out once a week again. He became excited when we stepped out onto the parking lot and started to laugh, saying it has been a long time since he was outside. We went to the Bugaboo steak house near the Mall, went early before it got crowded. Got him some chicken strips, French fries and some ice tea. He can easily eat those items, sometimes he has trouble knowing how to eat certain foods, but he did fine with his meal. Afterward he had two scoops of ice cream. He loved it; liked the music, the waitress made a fuss over him, called him honey, which made him laugh; he laughs easily. I wanted to take him for a walk. The horse park was one place I thought he would like to go, but when we discussed it after a fashion, he stated that he wanted to walk thru the mall. So off we went. He does not remember anything about the area, so each trip is a new adventure for him. Took him to a pet store, he became enamored with an African Grey parrot, and spent some time making soothing noises at it. Loved the water fountains and kept remarking how big the mall is. After a while he began showing signs of fatigue, so I took him back to Morningside, and was happy to see that he was glad to get back. I took him back to his room, hugged him, and he laid down for a nap. I am very happy that he likes it there, the staff is made up of some terrific people, and they spend a lot of time with him. Leo likes to be read to, and also prayed with, which some on the staff have told me they like to do with him. One of the ministers from hospice that goes there has learned to say the Hail Mary with him, which being Catholic is firmly embedded in his long term memory, and even if he at times cannot say it with her, knows it in his head and can follow along. Odd about Leo, look at him one way and he seems not to be there, but listen and look into his eyes, and he is there looking out trying to communicate. Yes he is like a child, but the man is also there, his complexity has not gone or diminished, it is just expressed in different ways. | ||
I wonder
05.20.06 (1:36 pm) [edit] I often wonder what it will be like for me when I get old. As I take care of my patients I often picture myself in their position in the not so distant future, and wonder if I won’t be saying over and over again “so that was what it was like”. Last night trying to clean Edmund, he got very angry at me, since he had no idea what I was doing. He did not want me to take off his wet clothes, or clean him. I spent about 30 minutes just talking softly to him, explaining what I was doing, which at first did no good whatsoever. It is difficult to sometimes do what must be done when the one being helped does not understand. He finally calmed down, and even helped me; I guess his short term memory can sometimes be helpful, since I am sure the memory would be a painful one for him if he retained it. Old age is a challenge for all involved, the relationship complex and trying, but at the same time enriching for the care giver and at times for the one receiving the care. One learns to let go, if that is possible, the other, the caregiver, learns patience, and hopefully the ability to try to listen on a deeper level, that is often needed for those who have not yet reached that stage in life, where everything has to be done for them. Edmund at this time can only eat soft foods, he is starting to have trouble swallowing so he needs to be hand fed. We give him oatmeal, eggs, mashed potatoes; well anything soft and easily chewable, will little chance of choking, and he does not seem to mind the change in diet. As usual his appetite is still good. I will continue to wonder what it will be like when I am there needing help. Sometimes I am peaceful about it, at others times fear rears its head to sneer at me. Such is our journey, being a pilgrim is not easy, but that seems to be what we are. |
Quenching
05.19.06 (4:29 pm) [edit] The sun beats down Upon the one who thirsts, Throat parched, Tongue swollen, Screaming for cool water, The mind obsessed, Growing deeper Each moment tormented. The stream was heard from afar The beauty of the sound Greater More thrilling Than any sound ever heard, The body frantic Its desire All consuming With a joyful noise, The crystal clear treasure Flowed past rapidly, Its smell intoxicating, Almost leading to madness, Until the hands cupped The precious liquid, Drinking The pleasure Greater More fulfilling Than ever thought possible As life Once again became strong With the water of life Once thought of as common. |
Unraveling
05.18.06 (2:20 pm) [edit]
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Rain
05.15.06 (3:04 pm) [edit] The rain comes in waves, Dancing on the pavement, Following the lead of the wind As they swirl together In perfect sync; The world awash In cooling wetness, Making one think Of the beauty, The perfection, Of the sound of rain On foliage, Or pavement The plants exulting, Life giving waters Soaking the parched earth, Giving life, Strength, The energy to go on About the business of growth, To revel in life, Existence, To simply stand out for a season Before the earth once again Claims its own, To return to its source. |
A visit with Leo
05.15.06 (10:53 am) [edit]
Saw Leo yesterday at the nursing home. He seemed to be a little agitated, and he tried to explain what he was going thru during my visit. Leo kept telling me of an incident that was witnessed that happened between his parents, which obviously caused him a lot of anxiety when it occurred. It sounded like he was reliving some childhood memory, thinking it happened that day. It is very frustrating for him to talk, he can’t get the words out that he wants to say, and so I just sat and listened. The best way to let Leo know that he is being listened too is to learn to ask the right questions. One of the best to try is to describe the emotional state he seems to be presenting. So questions like “so you feel angry” about what happened, or other questions along those lines seem to make him feel that he is being heard. Sometimes I just give a one word response, but focusing on the emotional content helps me to stay present to him, since his sentences often do not make any sense at all.
I think he also misses Damian’s presence, but does not have the language to express it. Perhaps it is just an absence that he seems to be experiencing, without being able to put a face on it. They used to spend a lot of time together; their rooms were next to each other, and like to be in each others company. Damian used to like to make Leo laugh, he was a jokester, and Leo seemed happier when he was around him, listening intently, if not participating in the verbal goings on that Damian was so good at.
Over all he seems content where he is at, and one day I asked him if he would like to return home. The answer surprised me since it was so clear. He said that another move would be too much, he likes it there, and does not want to go somewhere else. It seems he remembers the disorientation that he went thru when he was admitted a year and a half ago.
Too Late
05.12.06 (5:24 pm) [edit] Many do not know, The separation from loved ones, The reasons no matter how good, The anger, Pride, Stubbornness, Only hide the love hidden, Deep beneath the seething anger, To erupt after the one rejected, Dies. Parents who reject their children, Sons and daughters, Who do not speak, Too late learn, As they wake To the nightmare Of what was lost, Now gone forever, The one they thought they hated, But loved still. The wound That never heals, Regret growing with each New Year, All because of foolish pride, And the forgetfulness Of the horror Of the death of a loved one Scorned; Now missed More than life itself. |
Hidden chains
05.11.06 (3:38 pm) [edit] Two friends sit, Afraid to say what is simply there. The obvious unstated Like a vast abyss, A cold famished void Swallows the truth that could be shared, But no, Fear’s hold is strong, The manacles locked, The key lost somewhere in life’s journey, Hid in the desert their life has become, Buried in the sands of time, Rusted beyond repair. Dying by inches, They smile and talk of nothing, Thinking they will live forever, Safe in their separate prison, Self created; Not knowing that they are fools. |
His domain
05.09.06 (5:35 pm) [edit] He lays quiet, His world small enclosed, The bed on which he lies, His pillows, Cover, Rosary, His domain. Weakened by lack of water, Peace descends Anxiety gone, Only a need to be left in peace, To allow the silence to envelop him, Comforted when asked for, And to be prayed for While journeying This last mile Of a long beloved life. |
Decline
05.08.06 (2:27 pm) [edit]
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The inner world
05.06.06 (9:12 am) [edit]


